New Year, New ATTITUDE!!!

So here I am, a New Year & new promises (or rather same ol' promises) to myself. Ok, so honestly I failed last years resolutions big time, but I'm not giving up!!! I've got a new attitude and failing is not in the picture. I'm visualizing myself glowing from health at my ideal weight and living joyously. Is that too much to wish for?!?

What has kept me from this ideal in the past? Well myself & the way I handle stress. Beware this next paragraph is a bit gloomy....
So I've been to the dark side and back these last 5 years...A tragic suicide in the family left me realing ... I started smoking (ick) again after having quit for over 10 years. Then to add onto that pain my father was very ill for the past years from diabetes & heart disease, in & out of the hospitals & unwilling to live a more healthy lifestyle. This was hard to witness when you love someone....He eventually had a leg amputated which put me over the edge & having to be on anti-depressants/anti-anxiety pills so I could keep it together. He eventually passed away a year ago this week. I miss him intensely...

So here I am still in the healing process, 40+ pounds overweight, smoking & drinking too much wine. Trying to find myself once again.
I have gotten off the Lexapro thank goodness 6 months ago. I take 5-htp when feeling overwhelmed, down or an anxiety attack coming on and it serves me well with no side effects like the Lexapro. So now I am wanting to replace my other bad habits with good ones! I need to learn to deal with stress in healthier ways, because stress will always be a part of life unfortunately. So now that I've shared my weaknesses I do have some things that are already in place that will aide me on my quest for ultimate health & happiness...
I am well versed in healthy eating & food allergies. Both of my kids have been gluten-free and dairy-free for many years...--No preservatives & no additives. We eat organic & whole foods & no fast foods. We live a pretty natural & green life for the most part, at least
we try our best anyways...I also have the best cheerleader in the world, my dearest friend Ella, who's friendship & support has helped keep
me sane through the hard times! She's such an inspiration to me as well! I also have a supportive loving family whom love me unconditionally. I am blessed. I can do this. I have been raw vegan for short stints of time-- before the dark time in my life and felt all the health benefits! I am trying to get back to where I left off.... This is my journey, my transformation that I will be blogging about....